An Apple iPad hands-off review
With no exaggeration, I’ve spent hours upon hours the past two days watching, reading, and listening to all of the Apple iPad release hype I could get my eyes and ears on. From network and cable television, blogs, CNET, TWIT, et al., it’s been hard to avoid and easy to find.
After having been an early iPhone and iPod Touch adopter and longtime user (from the 1st Generation of each to the current iPhone 3GS), and watching and reading the hands-on reviews and out of the box experiences, I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what it’s like to have one in my hands.
When I first heard of the device, I was dubious as many were and still are. Turns out, all of the rumors were true. It was to have all of the iPhone’s limitations with a few more for good measure, and less portability. No multitasking, flash video, or camera. I can’t carry this in my pocket or walk down the street with it. I wouldn’t whip it out on the subway (the iPad, that is).
And anyone familiar with the amazingly easy-on-the-eyes e-ink of a Kindle, Nook, or similar e-reader knows that this isn’t a “Kindle Killer”. I can’t read a book on my laptop or iPhone, any more than I could comfortably read a book on my television. And if you’re reading a novel, who needs color? That’s as unnecessary as 3D is to a movie with substance.
So why would I need one? I don’t. Nobody does. And now I want one. Why?
Netlflix surprised everyone with a “day one” app for streaming movies. ABC’s streaming video app is also available today. Hulu will be available soon. With YouTube already available and HTML 5 video being more widely adopted, the “no flash video” thing may already be a non-issue.
Magazine and newspaper browsing, admittedly, does seem like a nice plus. Casual reading seems find with the device. I can’t see reading on it for hours at a time, but it does seem suitable for “thumbing” through a magazine or catching up on the bite sized “news” of outlets like USA Today.
The expanded e-mail and other productivity apps make use of the screen real estate nicely. Also, it’s very responsive and snappy. Apple always seems to get that right.
The name doesn’t even sound stupid anymore!
In a few months I’ve gone from indignation, to indifference, to downright technolust. How did Steve Jobs do it? Is he a witch, or does he just know how to maneuver the press and his core fanboys and girls into sweeping fringe people like me up into the fervor?
I’m gonna go with witch.
The Wisdom of Barney Miller
On New Years Day, I was graced with very little to do and a “Barney Miller” marathon on television. The show was a favorite of mine as a kid. I remember Dietrich (played by Steve Landesberg) being my favorite character. Friendly guy, dry wit, smart without being smug.
One summer day, while handing out flyers for a neighborhood restaurant on the Upper East Side, Steve Landesberg came walking by, accepting a flyer and commenting on how the place looked good. He actually thanked me for the flyer. What a cool guy. I was starstruck. By Detective Dietrich. I was a weird kid.
Oh, and Hal Linden walked into the pizza shop I was eating in when I was around the same age. Not as exciting. And recently I saw Abe Vigoda walking around. What a cool neighborhood, by the way.
To top it off, I’m a bass guy, and that opening theme song kicks ass.
So these days, I claim to be an adult. Not having seen Barney Miller in several decades, and having very little else to do, I re-familiarized myself with the show and it’s characters during the marathon.
What I wasn’t expecting was how seemingly ahead of its time the show was. The subject matter of things these NYC detectives dealt with on a daily basis was interesting… Dietrich referencing the Hegelian dialectic (a concept that opened my eyes about 7 years ago; it’s summarized in three words in a banner on the home page of this very blog), a pending global economic collapse, corporate mind control, the flaws of our two-party political system, the CIA’s NYC subway experiments on the unwitting population in the 50′s and 60′s (since declassified), and other government cover-ups at high levels. I frequently find myself pausing the show to look something up.
And damn, people were smarter then. Harris and Dietrich especially had amazing vocabularies. We are getting dumber as a society. This morning I watched a network news correspondent misuse the word “random”. Juxtapose that with words like “picayune” (from the episode I just watched).
Surely there are more gems waiting for me as I continue to watch. I’m sure glad all of those things are of the past and the world is now perfect. Long live Dietrich!
Tyler Perry Presents Ingmar Bergman’s Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Okay… Tyler Perry doesn’t figure into this, but the rest of the title has relevance.
This evening I decided to do my regular 2 mile treadmill jog while watching something on TV. Normally, I’d run with an iPod, but I’ve got wireless headphones hooked up and welcomed the visual distraction. I’m actually a more captive audience on the treadmill as I’m sometimes a little restless watching movies or longer programs. I tend to browse the web or check twitter on my phone, but not on the treadmill. Actually, I did have my phone, but I dropped it on the floor and didn’t want to stop to pick it up. So there I was, a slave to the screen.
I started with a 2 mile slow jog, but felt great and decided to go for my weekend 10k. At around mile 6, I decided to turn that 10K into a 10 miler. In all this time and (with some before and after viewing), I had an impromptu double feature. “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” followed by Ingmar Bergman’s “Persona”.
I couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began. It’s like they’re the same film! Har Har. But seriously.
Paul Blart – I’d never have watched this one were it not for Kevin James. A fun 90 minutes. KJ is funny enough and Jayma Mays is adorable as always. Basically, it’s Die Hard in a New Jersey mall. Replace a tough talking New York City cop with a meek overweight mall security guard. The original Die Hard is pretty classic, but Compared to Die Hard 4, “Blart” is much more credible; a cinematic masterpiece in comparison to that garbage.
Persona – I don’t know where to begin. I may have nightmares. Not because of the story, but because of the style and imagery. Can’t say that I really understood it, though. What I’ve read of the film since (in the past half hour) has left me a little more confused, but I’m comforted in the fact that I’m far from the only one. I can’t hang with the film student types, but I really wish I could.
Suddenly, I’m regretting all of that physical activity. Tomorrow, “Ishtar” and “Citizen Kane”. Kidding. I kid.
Rhymes with Rey
A brief conversation with an intelligent coworker a few days ago has been stuck in my head. We were discussing films and I mentioned wanting to see “Up In The Air”. He scoffed it off as a chick flick. Funny. I guess it is, but it hadn’t struck me as one, as I was more focused on the story involving the protagonist’s job and not the love interest part. He may not have meant it this way, but further into the conversation I inferred that he thinks guys should be dragged to such a flick with a lady friend, or at least have one there as cover.
I have no problem with the term “chick flick”, but when are we going to grow up? I’m all for the occasional ball busting, but some of my favorite movies are “chick flicks”…
- The Lake House, Casablanca, Annie Hall, Manhattan, Lost In Translation, Love Actually, Dan In Real Life, et al.
I can dig a good explodo-carchase-automaticweapon-catchphrase flick as much as any red-blooded American dude; but the key word there is “good”. Movies with these elements for the sake of them without any substance of which to speak whatsoever, are degrading our society. They’re both a symptom and a cause of our devolution…
- G.I. Joe, Transformers, Die Hard 4… (eh, I’m already too nauseated to list any more)
I’m going to say this, and it may offend some (it shouldn’t at all, but this is the internet); but if all you care to watch is this type of dude flick, along with crude-slapsticky-fartjoke comedies, you are an emotionally stunted human being.
There’s no accounting for taste, and there are always exceptions to my fake rules. There are awful movies with some real heart or which tell a good story. My ire is directed to the type of person who would call me a fag (and actually mean it) because I like a good romantic comedy. Punch my “man card”, call me a “mo”, go ahead. Make a joke about my first name rhyming with “Gay”. You’re a fucking genius! I never would have thought of that!
Die. Or maybe just grow up.
I’m in a Nanny State of Mind
A few years ago, when I sat down to watch the movie “Thank You For Not Smoking”, I was prepared for a preachy anti-smoking flick. I don’t smoke, but I think we need to treat people as adults in this society if we are to be considered worth anything. I was pleasantly surprised to realize that was the movie’s exact message. It actually makes the case for personal responsibility.
New York City has successfully banned trans fats, the common replacements for which are actually worse for your health. Mayor Michael Bloomberg is now leading some bizarre crusade against salt; with an initiative to take it nation wide. And David Paterson, the most unfit-for-office New York State Governor since the last one, has plans to introduce a soda tax to “curb obesity” and ease the state’s budget deficit.
In dystopian works of fiction like the film “V for Vendetta” and George Orwell’s “1984″, foods were banned for the “good” of the people; at least the proletariat. In a fairly short amount of time, we’ve had attacks on trans fats, salt, and soda. Any chance it’ll end there?
These grapes seem sour
I want to like Michelle Rodriguez. I really do. But her tweets (@MRodOfficial) last night following the defeat of the “king of the world’s” brain scrambling cinematic beast (Avatar), made that a bit more difficult. For example:
“Just as expected I’m taking a moment of silence from this bullshit”
This is where it started
“I love catherine bigalow but best pic of the year is noT hurt locker”
Subjective much?
“I will always choose love, respect and innocence over feminism any day of the week I’m just pissed cause the tribes voice is ignored again”
Is calling The Hurt Locker’s win “bullshit” the love part or the respect part?
“Ill be over it it after some chocolate and anotHer look at market penetration stats by avatar into world markets”
We get it. Avatar made money. You’re not helping your argument.
“The oscar results are the equivalent of picking war over love……. I guess that’s the elite perspective”
Elite? That’s like news people referring to the “media” as if they’re not themselves members.
There are other tweets and @ replies to people who either blindly agreed with her or tried to set her straight. If I did agree with her about the movie, I still wouldn’t have agreed with her sore loser ramblings.
Unfollow. Maybe.
Hello world!
I bought a domain for kicks, and don’t know really know what to do with it. I’m also quite unfamiliar with blogging, so this should be fun. Stick with me, won’t you?
Let me first say that this will have very little, if anything, to do with tuna or sandwiches. But really, is Amazon.com about a rainforest? I ask you! Is Google (that is to say, googol) about a 1 followed by 100 zeros? I ask you! Is Twitter about birds? Yes, it’s bird themed, but you get my point.
That said, I expect TunaSub.com to be just as successful as the websites previously mentioned, if not more so. And when the movie comes out, you can say you knew me when.
